Humbled

Good morning! This past Sunday, it was pouring rain and flooding in all the lower areas, so I decided to stay home and listen to a DVD sermon about forgiveness. The effects of this decision are still being felt in my life!

Example: Yesterday I came out to the airport to help Travis with the mowing. We are way behind, especially in the area of weed whacking and spraying weed killer! But, I had it in my mind as to exactly what I was going to do and how. After all, he asked me to help and I envisioned this pleasant day--working side by side out in the fresh air!

NOT! When I arrived, there was my husband, playing a computer game, then fussing over the new printer that somehow had become "disconnected" from the network of computers. So, I went out to the tractor shed, started up the grasshopper and went to work. He never appeared. Hmmm!

Then, I got the weed whacker and went to work until it broke down, then I got on the big tractor and went to work until I needed a break. Still no Travis! When I went inside, there he was on the computer...playing a game and very grumpy!

Well, let me tell you...I was furious inside. Why did I have to do all the work? Why was he grumpy at me? What gave him the right to sit and play while I was working? etc., etc. Get the picture?

I remembered the sermon that I had listened to on Sunday and tried to change the tide of my rebellious, judgmental thoughts! And, it worked for awhile, but they kept creeping back in.

Things came up that needed attending to...a plane needed fueling--Travis played on, so I got up and went out to do that. Again...ugly thoughts and mutterings.

To end this....I was finally sitting in front of the computer, posting some checks and entries into the accounts, when I glanced down and looked at the date. September 17th. I hadn't thought about the date up until that moment and suddenly--the light bulb went on! It was our oldest son's birthday...He would have been 38 years old, if he was still alive, but he had died a month before his 28th birthday.

Oh my gosh! All the bitterness and complaining washed right out of me and I couldn't hold back the tears. It was horrible, wonderful, cleansing, but most of all---very humbling! No wonder Travis couldn't get up the gumption to come out and pleasantly weed whack with me! No wonder he was grumpy and slumped over a computer game. Emotionally, he was whacked! And suddenly, so was I!

No more mowing--just waves of grief! Not huge waves, but waves none-the-less! So, once again--I was reminded, rather strongly, that I DIDN'T know what was really going on and my rights had NOT been violated!

Conclusion? I told Travis to go home...take some time by himself--I would close up the airport for him. And he did! When I returned home, he had been able to share with one of our kids, over the phone, about something happening in their lives and was renewed once again! He'd been able to cry and woke up this morning--back to his cheerful self.

Needless to say, I'm still feeling pretty embarrassed and humbled inside. I just wish that I could remember this lesson the next time something comes up!

Called to Love

I've been doing a great deal of thinking about friendship. And, what does God really have in mind when He tells us that we need to love one another!

I have a close friend who is going through a very difficult time. She loves God, but is married to a person who does NOT! So, that's an issue between them...but more than that...he has chosen to be very unkind to her. I'm not pointing the finger or drawing conclusions about his beliefs vs. her beliefs. Love is a DECISION! We choose to love and there have been many times in my life when I've chosen to not love, because of my selfishness.

So, I think that it all boils down to this. I have a duty, an obligation, a responsibility, but more than that, the privilege to stand beside my friend through this hard time because she is a sister in the Body of Christ. Jesus told us to love members of His family fervently.

What I find so interesting is that often times, members of God's family are not necessarily people that I would choose to "hang out with." I don't always have much in common with them...they may come from completely different backgrounds than I do. They believe differently about what "church" should look like, they don't always respond like Jesus (nor do I), etc. etc., and yet, I'm told to love fervently!

I'm not told to straighten everyone out (according to my standards) or to be judgmental or critical, but to love! I think this takes practice. And discipline. And realization that I must choose to love--that I won't always feel like it. And acknowledgment that I can not do this without God's intervention.

So, guess what God is having me do? I'm out here at the airport and am being directed (in my heart) to serve and help my husband. I would much rather be home--cleaning up the house, starting another painting project, making crafts, etc.

Instead, Travis needed help yesterday with spraying weed killer behind him as he weed whacked. It was stinky, hot, heavy to carry the apparatus for spraying and I did NOT want to do it. But, that little voice came into my head and said, "Are you going to choose to love or will you make this hard on one of the members of God's family?"

I started spraying and little by little, I began to enjoy being outside! Then, Travis had to go fly with a student and the thoughts buzzed around in my head, "Oh sure! He leaves you to do the dirty work!" But, other softer thoughts said, "You are being a help to him! You are loving him by lifting the load."

Within a very short period of time, the job was finished. Are there still hours of spraying and weed whacking ahead? Yes! Hours of mowing, etc? Yes! Will it all end? Yes, when the cold weather sets in. But, I am being disciplined through this experience to learn what it means to be a servant and how to love more like God loves us!

My friend? I'm walking with her through this time...praying for her and her husband, trying not to be critical and bad-tempered towards him. And Travis? I'm trying to remember that yes, he's my husband, but most of all, he's another member of God's family and I've been called to LOVE!

I'm still here...

Good morning! It's been well over one month since I last wrote. So much has happened in such a short amount of time!

My mother-in-law, Evelyn, came for a month visit. Travis and I flew to MN to pick her up and bring her back. It was interesting getting her into a small plane, as she's not very mobile now. I guess being 90 years old gives her some excuse! She requires constant care and my sister-in-law, Sandy, needed a much-needed break!

Jessica and her boys were also with us during most of that time and Evelyn thoroughly enjoyed all the hustle and bustle of having little children around. Corban (8) was quite fascinated with watching Travis give his mom insulin shots and often wondered why she didn't remember things that she had just said.

Joshua (7 months) was really crawling and pulling himself up on furniture, chortling and "talking" up a storm! She loved his soft little head and constantly commented on how cute he was.

We spent lots of time singing old songs, hymns, listening to CDs and reading out loud from James Herriot's book, "All Things Bright and Beautiful".

All in all, it was a very good visit and we all came to appreciate the care that is required to make her final days on earth pleasant!

Our house is quiet again. It's nice, but sad too! I miss all the liveliness of youth, but they have their own lives to live also. Just wish that they weren't so far, far away from us!

My mom gave us a sauna when I was in Alaska. It's a one-person unit that has a pad that you lie on, and a dome apparatus that fits over the top of you. So, Travis and I have been enjoying that in the evenings. We put on a good movie, then take turns in the "sweat-box". All I can say is that we sure sleep well!

Travis and one of his students, Shawn, were taxiing on the turf runway, getting ready to do a short-field takeoff, when all of a sudden, the front of the plane dropped to the ground. They jumped out and found that an old storm-drain had collapsed when the nose wheel rolled over it. Needless to say, it was fortunate that no one was hurt, but most unfortunate for the plane. There is some damage that needs to be addressed and our other plane that we use for training is still sitting in the mechanic's shop waiting for repairs, as well.

God provided another plane that we could lease for training and one of Travis's students who was ready to take his check ride, was able to finish up and get his pilot's license! In the meantime, the insurance company will cover the whole thing, but the plane will probably be out of service for over a month!

You never know what life will bring, do you? And yet, the Lord desires that we praise Him even when we don't understand why things happen! I'm so glad that I'm not in charge of running the universe!

Well, that's about it for now! Just to catch everyone up! And, I promise to take "pen" (keyboard) in hand and write more often!

A quick confession

I have to tell you something very quickly. I was reading back through my posts and came to the one about flying to Alaska next to the soldier returning to Iraq.

I told Crispin about him putting his wedding ring on before landing and he said, "Well, mom, he probably finally felt safe."

I asked him what he meant and he said that no one wears jewelry of any kind over there. Especially wedding rings. If they are captured by the enemy, they can be tortured or their families can be brutalized because of this knowledge.

It makes me feel like crying even now to think about a young man coming home to his family and only feeling safe when he crosses over into Alaska that he's able to put his wedding ring back on! So I apologize to all my friends and family who read this blog, but especially to John for thinking ill of him! We truly don't know the whole picture, do we?

Random Thoughts

It's pouring, pouring, pouring rain outside...my mother-in-law is taking a nap, Travis is out at the airport, Jess and family have just left for the store and it's quiet! So, thought I'd sit down and write some random thoughts!

I've tried to approach blogging from a very realistic point of view...everything neat and in order, daily activities, etc. But, it's not working that way and perhaps that's for the best! No one wants to read about what I bought at the store, how many times I cruised past the post office to drop off whatever bill needed mailing, or what I was going to make for supper--but didn't have the right ingredients.

I did read somewhere that we need to be very thankful for the mundane. If we're living in the mundane, everyday kind of life...then, we're not facing crisis! So, I'm thankful for mundane!

No, I want to talk about a book that Travis and I are trying to read together. I say "trying" because, we don't have much alone time to even do this right now...but the one thing that I've read--I can't get out of my mind.

The book is called, "The Forever Feast" by Dr. Paul Brand. Dr. Brand talks about the earth and how taking care of this precious resource reflects into our Christian lives, as well. It's fascinating reading and I'll bet you can find a copy out on amazon.com or one of the other used books sites.

I quote, "In the biology of the Christian faith, seeds are wrapped in attractive fruit. If a vine bore only naked seeds, nobody would pick them. Everyone who wants to be a disciple of Jesus Christ is expected to bear fruit. This does not mean that we all have to be successful in bringing many people to the point of decision to become a Christian. It means our lives have to bear the taste, the fragrance, or the nourishment that makes people appreciate what we are and what we have to give. The people we work with, the members of our family or Sunday school class, should sense the pleasure and benefit of being with us. They should know that the flavor of our life comes from our abiding in Jesus Christ.

One day something may trigger the beginning of new life in someone you know who has tasted the flavor of Jesus through contact with you. We may not ever know how or when it happens. But it will be the germination of a seed that was planted because your own personal life was delicious.

I don't remember exactly when I was converted. It was not in response to a challenge from an inspiring speaker. The lives of my mother and father were dedicated to God, and their nurture of us children was an expression of God's love. I wanted to be like them and to know the spiritual resources that made their lives so fragrant. d didn't know about the seed or the new birth--but I knew their fruit, and I was attracted to it."

OK...so, I've been thinking a great deal about that! What an amazing picture of what we need to be about. I've been reviewing my motives, my actions, my speech, my attitudes, etc. Not that I'm trying to earn brownie points with God, but I hope that my life is flavorful, and nourishing to others.

By the way, my mother-in-law is thoroughly enjoying Joshua Reier Lamb, Jessica's baby. He's just 8 months old and is crawling, climbing, drooling, laughing, discoverying, and carrying on like babies do! She touches his little bald head and says, "Oh, feel that head! Just like velvet!" Watching her, I'm convinced that families need to be pro-active in keeping the varying generations involved! It's good for her, it's good for us, it's good for our kids and for our grandkids! There's continuity to life!

I still have a vague memory of my great grandmother Parker. She had white hair, was dressed in a white lace nightgown and was sitting up in a bed holding her wrinkled hand out to me. Because we lived in Alaska and were so far away from family, I was scared of her and didn't want her to touch me. Just imagine if I had the opportunity to be around those wrinkled old hands and that kind, kind voice on a daily basis! What would I have learned about life, about a generation that was dying, and about myself?

Eternal Purposes

Oh, this is crazy! I keep thinking about posting every day, but because I continue to suffer with perfection/procrastination, I don't do it! Nobody said that I had to do a blog perfectly...it's just a matter of sitting down and communicating! :-)

It's turning into a very interesting summer. First a trip to Alaska and going through a whole gammit of emotions--thankfulness, grief, hope, sadness, joy. Then, having my house turned upside down with grandchildren (which has been wonderful--but also a bit disruptive to my normal schedule), and now a new situation!

By the way, Jessica and boys met up with Gary in Buffalo, NY, and flew to Canada for a couple of days, then back to Chicago for a visit and will return here this coming Monday.

This past Sunday, we borrowed a friends "faster-than-ours airplane" and flew to Minneapolis, where we picked up my 90 yr old mother-in-law, Evelyn, and brought her back for a 2 week stay here with us in Missouri!

She's one of the sweetest ladies I know, but her memory has failed to the point that we talk a lot about things that happened years and years ago. Many of the stories, poems, songs, sayings, etc. get stuck in her mind and are repeated over and over again. I have to help her to the bathroom and remind her of each task that has to be performed. Sometimes, she remembers where to put her hands to lift herself up and sometimes she doesn't.

My sister-in-law, Sandy, who is her caregiver has taken a much, much, much needed vacation to California and I'm hoping that she's thoroughly enjoying the time spent there with family and friends!

Now, what was I talking about? My schedule? HA! Gone again. But, I've also been doing a great deal of thinking about our purpose here on earth and here's what I've come up with (for the moment). That each situation that we find ourselves in--however menial--is an opportunity to practice God's Word! I have a choice. I can be kind, loving, helpful, forgiving, cheerful, serving, or I can choose the opposite.

My purpose here on earth is to glorify God in all I do! Will I always get a pat on the back? An "atta girl"? Nope! But Paul wrote, "Do everything as unto the Lord!" Am I trying to "make points" with God? I don't have to! He loves me unconditionally and with complete abandon!

And so, I've been praying a lot for Evelyn. That she would be ministered to--down deep inside her spirit...whether she remembers or not, whether she knows who I am or not, whether she can follow a short story or not, it doesn't matter! She is loved unconditionally by the Lord and with complete abandon!

And the Lord is using this time for His eternal purposes in all of our lives. Did I mention Travis's role in this? He has to give her 4 insulin shots a day, make other arrangements for time spent at the airport, etc, etc. So, we are being stretched for "God's glory".

What's happening in your life? Same thing, right?

Small Fry Thrills

Our house is brimming with life! Jessica is here with us for an extended period of time this summer, along with Corban (7--almost 8) and Joshua (7 months). Our days begin with a bit of quiet time, then Corban comes in to snuggle in and watch a bit of the Disney channel. He LOVES a little program that teaches classical music terms, songs, etc. with the use of make-believe characters. A bit of Mozart, or Beethoven, etc, is a nice start to the mornings.

We look forward to seeing Joshua's smiling, happy face as well. He's been cutting 2 more teeth lately, so has not been his normal self.

But, we've so enjoyed watching his "discoveries". He's started to crawl, and pull himself up since he's been here! Do you have any idea how exciting it is to pull oneself up on the coffee table and dump out a big basket of shells? After the clattering noise is over, a few tears are shed, then it gets really exciting to plop down and start "tasting" all those funny-shaped things lying about. Well, until mom or grandma comes and takes them all away!

It makes more and more sense to me why Jesus loved little children so much! They have such an uninhibited ability to enjoy life...to begin each new day with enthusiasm and excitement for what's ahead. Yesterday's hurts and misbehavioral problems are a thing of the past--everything is brand new!

Kisses and hugs are freely given and freely received! Great joy and curiousity are all wrapped up in each tiny experience. Joshua was absolutely fascinated last night when we hung up his new "Johnny Jump-up". He sat on the floor--starring up to the seat, then up, up, up to the clamp attached to the archway! The look on his face was priceless!

Corban turned my family room into a tattoo parlor. I have no idea where he came up with this idea, but I have a butterfly on my leg now...drawn on with a ballpoint pen and colored in with a "washable" magic marker. It's even framed with "To Gramma", "From Corban" printed on the top and the bottom.

He gave Grandpa an airplane tattoo and charged each one of us 5 cents for his artwork. We paid him a quarter...a 15 cent tip! Wahoo!

He's loving hearing "Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle" read to him. I happen to have about 4 of her books and he just loves all her magical cures for bad behavior!

We had a fascinating, exhilarating time blowing off fireworks on the 4th of July. Corban had the tremendous responsibility of lighting the big box called, "The Grand Finale". Oh my gosh! You can't believe how thrilling that was! We heard about the Grand Finale all evening and when it was finally time to put the punk to the fuse...you would think that the 2nd Coming had arrived!

And to think that Jesus wants us to be like "little children". Are we excited about today?