Knitting and Obeying

I haven't written anything in over 2 years.  It seemed like a simple thing...write about my life.  Reminisce (did I spell that right?) or even project a bit out into the future.  But, somehow, things got in the way and I forgot all about my lofty ideas...until I stumbled across another blogger the other day and it all came rushing back again.

I don't like this about myself.  I start something with a gusto...only to find unfinished knitting or crochet projects in a closet...a half-finished writing course gathering dust on a shelf, a drawer full of interesting stamps waiting to be put into albums, a small notebook with the songs assigned for the next piano lesson that I quit 5 years ago...and a blog waiting to be written in.

Good intentions.  We all have them.  Have you ever read the story of Saul in I Samuel 15:1-34?  Saul had been given specific instructions to carry out a very difficult task.  In the end, he only partially finished it...but, the excuses were quite revealing as to his true character.  The prophet, Samuel, says something quite profound in verse 22. "Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the Lord?  To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams."

The list of excuses were as follows: 1) I may not have done everything right, but I did go "on the mission".  2) Everyone else is doing it. 3) I did what I did FOR God. 4) I was afraid of other people.
The bottom line of what I'm learning is this...whether I'm knitting a scrarf, putting stamps in an album, or even writing a blog...shouldn't I be about the task of "finishing something?"

How will I be able to accomplish big things in life if I can't finish the small things?  And so, I'm back to blogging.  Digging out the other unfinished projects will have to wait for another day!  :-)

Great Wall of China

        You wanted another great adventure, didn’t you?  Well, here I am on the Great Wall of China.  Never, ever in a million years did I think that I would have an opportunity like this—to travel to the other side of the world and see such amazing things.

        So, I guess I’d better begin at the beginning…right?  It will all make sense.  My youngest daughter dates a guy who is Taiwanese, but raised here in America.  They were planning a trip to China and Taiwan for almost a year—his mom was going, too.  About a month before we traveled, my daughter called and asked if I would like to go, too.

        Travis and I talked it over and it all came together amazingly quickly.  We left for Beijing, China on May 4^th and just recently returned to the US on the 27^th of May.

        So, I thought that I would put together a series of letters to share with you some of the amazing things that we saw!  I had always, always wanted to go to the Great Wall—just never believed that I would.

        Here is the internet description of the wall:

The Great Wall of China is a series of fortifications made of stone, brick, tamped earth, wood, and other materials, generally built along an east-to-west line across the historical northern borders of China in part to protect the Chinese Empire or its prototypical states against intrusions by various nomadic groups or military incursions by various warlike peoples or forces. Several walls were being built as early as the 7th century BC; these, later joined together and made bigger, stronger, and unified are now collectively referred to as the Great Wall.  Especially famous is the wall built between 220–206 BC by the first Emperor of China, Qin Shi Huang. Little of that wall remains. Since then, the Great Wall has on and off been rebuilt, maintained, enhanced; the majority of the existing wall was reconstructed during the Ming Dynasty.

Other purposes of the Great Wall have included border controls, allowing the imposition of duties on goods transported along the Silk Road, regulation or encouragement of trade and the control of immigration and emigration. Furthermore, the defensive characteristics of the Great Wall were enhanced by the construction of watch towers, troop barracks, garrison stations, signaling capabilities through the means of smoke or fire, and the fact that the path of the Great Wall also served as a transportation corridor.

The Great Wall stretches from Shanhaiguan in the east, to Lop Lake in the west, along an arc that roughly delineates the southern edge of Inner Mongolia. The most comprehensive archaeological survey, using advanced technologies, has concluded that all the walls measure 8,851.8 km (5,500.3 mi).  This is made up of 6,259.6 km (3,889.5 mi) sections of actual wall, 359.7 km (223.5 mi) of trenches and 2,232.5 km (1,387.2 mi) of natural defensive barriers such as hills and rivers.

        Family members showed up at the Beijing airport to pick us up and tote us off to the Mayan Hotel.  This residence was built to look just like a Mayan temple (Mexico).  It really seemed a bit odd and out-of-place to be staying in something that was not Chinese.  But hey—it was really comfortable and well-taken care of.

        We left about 9 am the following day to travel by van up to the wall.  It was quite a ways outside of the city.  We drove through small villages and saw the more rural existence of the Chinese populace.  (It reminded me a lot of Bolivia where we lived for 10 years)  Of course, the roofs of the buildings were all of typical Asian design rather than adobe bricks.

        Arriving at the entrance to the wall—there was a huge parking lot carved out of the side of the mountain.  It was filled with big tour buses and all kinds of other vehicles.  Off to one side, were a series of small tent-like structures where every kind of touristy souvenir could be found.  Since we had arrived early, the vendors weren’t very aggressive.  Just sitting around with their bowls of rice and morning drinks.

        We actually rode on cable cars to get up to the wall.  It was a long, long way up the side of the mountain and we would have been absolutely exhausted from climbing up there.  We were very tired even walking back down on a very well-built trail.

        I was absolutely fascinated to think that each brick, all the mortar, etc. had to be hauled up that hill without the use of modern machinery.  And to see it stretching across the ridges of the mountains for miles and miles was astounding!

        Every so often, we would walk through a small guard house like the one below. 

                 

Inside the guard house, they had built the most ingenious thing.  This square hole was put into the roof so that the air would flow through the sides and then be pulled up through the roof.  This caused natural air conditioning to take place.  It was pretty hot outside, but nice and cool inside.  J

        Of course, the wall really serves no purpose in modern days—other than for tourists.  And, in reading about it in a book that I found at a foreign bookstore, it didn’t always keep “the bad guys” out or in either.  But, it did serve a greater purpose for maintaining a very obvious border between two countries!  Nowadays, the wall is all inside of China—just snaking its way across the country.

        I was thinking about all the work—the tremendous time and effort that was poured into building this.  All the people that did so have long been forgotten.  No one alive remembers any of them—a few kings and officials here and there from the history books, but not the masses of people that were needed to construct something so vast!

        Man is always trying to build something to be remembered by.  We have such a desire to have a life that means more than just to live and die.  But, we spend so much wasted time trying to find meaning outside of God.  I’ll share more with you about the temples that we visited, etc.  But, let me leave this thought with you.  God—Creator God—God of the Universe is living and breathing!  He really is alive…He is great and sovereign and awesome.  And He cares about each one of us so, so much!  The Great Wall means nothing to Him!  He loves people! 

        We all stood around in awe and amazement with what ancient peoples had accomplished, but that is NOTHING in comparison to what the purposes of God are for us!

       

       

The bird feeder

Oh my gosh! Birds are the most amazing creatures!

My aunt and cousins gave me money to buy something to remember my dad by--when he passed away several years ago. So, I bought a bird feeder!

It's hanging up outside our dining room window and has provided hours of amazement! We've experimented with different kinds of food and have settled on safflower seeds and suet (for the woodpeckers).

Squirrels detest safflower seed, so that's been a positive choice. But the suet?! You would think that we put out nectar from the gods!

The woodpeckers come in ones and twos, the nut hatches come sailing in to land upside down and peck away, but the starlings come barreling in--screeching, pecking the suet and any other bird that gets close, hogging the entire feeder until they all swirl away. They are like a tribe of completely unruly and bratty children! Not a single refinement among the lot of them!

The sparrows and chickadees nervously land, pluck up one seed and fly up to the higher branches to break open the outer covering and get at the little piece of seed inside.

We see a sprinkling of tit mouse, wrens, doves, and cardinals...all colors, all sizes, some ground feeders, some shy, mostly just hungry!

Reminds me of people! :-)

I Choose!

As I look back over 2010 and into 2011, I am amazed at all the things that have happened! Death, new life, traveling, mundane-everyday stuff, great books read, emotional and spiritual growth...on and on!

So, what does this coming year hold? Probably more of the same! And, is there a point to all of this? Does what I think, or do, or say really matter in the larger scheme of things? I think so! I might not be famous or well-known or any of those things, but my life has significance in God!

I'm learning that He delights in me...dotes on me...is crazy about me. I was in his heart and mind before the universe was made. He had already planned out my existence. These thoughts are too high and mighty for me to really take in and comprehend. I seem to see more of my failures and faults than I see worth....but God doesn't look at me that way!

And so, what I decide to do or not do, even today, means more than I can possibly understand. What I say to others, how I respond to each person that passes in and out of my life, how I treat Rusty, how much time I spend on the computer or not, what I think about...all of it has meaning. God wants my whole heart! All of it.

I'm learning about "servant hood." What does that look like? How can I actually serve others--even those closest to me with an attitude of gentleness and graciousness? Once again, I see my failures and faults, but God does not look at me through those "tinted glasses" of a finite being. He sees me through a vast heart of love and mercy that I cannot comprehend!

So, today...I choose to place my life, my hands and feet, my mouth, my whole being into His most capable hands! I give myself to the workings of the Holy Spirit and I wait to see what kind of great adventure lies before me.

It might just be vacuuming, dusting, ironing, cooking--or it might be something high and grand! Whatever it is...I will keep in mind how much God loves me and what I'm worth to Him!

This is for Peri!

No excuse! I won't do it to you! I'll just write!

I started taking an on-line (sort-of) writing course through the Institute of Children's Literature. I love it, but I can't set aside the time that I need to--to write! What's wrong with this picture?

I have all kinds of things bottled up inside that I want to say. I want to tell stories, share experiences, and possibly be of encouragement to some little kid or young person.

If I can make my bed and keep the kitchen fairly clean, surely I can sit down at my computer and write. You would think.

So, my Christmas shopping is done. I have about 5 gifts left to wrap. I sent off two huge boxes of books to my daughter who arrives at my son's home in Delaware tomorrow with her 2 kids in tow (from Dubai), etc, etc. So, why can't I make time to write for my class, like I'm supposed to?

Any suggestions?

Clown Baby

We raced blindly down the gravel road on our bikes. All we knew was that Clown Baby was right behind us and if he caught up to us, we would be in big trouble.

Clown Baby was a young bull calf that my dad was raising for the summer. Even though we loved reaching through the bars of his pen to feed him carrots and feel his black, sandpaper tongue-- we knew better than to actually get inside!

Clown Baby’s little nubby horns were pushing up through the hair on his head. He loved to push against our hands and we could see the glitter in his eyes when he did it. Dad warned us again and again that Clown Baby would hurt us if we ventured too close.

To this day, I have no idea how he got out, but he was not only mean, he was smart! One minute, we were circling the yard on our bikes, the next minute—here he came. A black and white streak headed right towards us.

We took off down the driveway as fast as we could peddle. Up the hill was a big left-over pile of dirt from building the road. We raced towards it—jumped off our bikes and scrambled to the top as quickly as we could. In terror we watched Clown Baby lunging towards us!

Dad roared up the driveway in his old Willy’s Jeep. He jumped out, yelling, “Clown Baby!” The sound of his voice must have distracted that calf, because he swung around and put his head down—charging right for my dad!

A quickly swung rope brought Clown Baby to a halt and dad tossed that calf right over the side of the pickup and jumped right in after him—tying him up snug!

We were all crying and blubbering as we staggered down that dirt pile into dad’s open arms! I didn’t know it then, but that night after we went to bed, I heard him tell my mom, “Man, was I scared! When I saw the hole in the fence where that little sucker crawled through—I knew he’d head right for the kids!”

I rolled over and went to sleep. Boy, did I love my dad!

Camping in Circumstances

I can't believe how long it's been since I last wrote! I used to journal almost every day and thought that I might get back into the habit if I had access to a computer. However, I find that I haven't gotten back into the habit like I thought I would.

I have something I want to "talk about". It may or may not be of interest to those of you who may stumble across this blog. But, it's meant a great deal to me lately!

Numbers 9: 17-23 in the Bible reads as follows: "When the Cloud lifted above the Tent, the People of Israel marched out; and when the Cloud descended the people camped. the People of Israel marched at God's command and they camped at his command. As long as the Cloud was over The Dwelling, they camped. Even when the Cloud hovered over The Dwelling for many days, they honored God's command and wouldn't march. They stayed in camp, obedient to God's command, as long as the Cloud was over The Dwelling, but the moment God issued orders they marched. If the Cloud stayed only from sunset to daybreak and then lifted at daybreak, they marched. Night or day, it made no difference--when the Cloud lifted, they marched. It made no difference whether the Cloud hovered over The Dwelling for two days or a month or a year, as long as the Cloud was there, they were there. And when The Cloud went up, they got up and marched. They camped at God's command and they marched at God's command. They lived obediently by God's orders as delivered by Moses."

OK...that was a bit long-winded, so here's my what has been going through my mind on this one. First of all, this part of the Bible was written in Hebrew. When things are repeated--it's because they were important. We use punctuation to emphasize importance nowadays...but back when this was written, to repeat something again and yet again, showed great importance.

Then....I began to think about the circumstances that Travis and I are in. Taking care of my mother-in-law, etc. It appears that "The Cloud" has camped right here! (The Cloud represented God's Presence to the Children of Israel.) It appears that we need to learn to camp in these circumstances and not be whining or discontented with what God has brought into our lives! Just learn to be obedient in what He's asked us to do.

Has it been easy to always answer kindly? Or to show patience when I've been awakened again for the 3rd or 4th time during the night? I must admit that I've failed in these areas...however, I'm learning to settle my heart--to reach beyond myself where I put my hand in God's Hands and ask for His help! He's got way more love and patience then I ever dreamed of and has promised to pour out His help if we need it. We just have to ask!

I'm asking all the time! Until next time!

Brick-A-Brack

Good morning...oh, such good intentions! I'm going to write more often--opps, didn't do it again! (Sigh)

My mother-in-law is in the hospital undergoing surgery on a parathyroid gland, as I write this. We had 2 really amazing days with her...wide awake, talkative, not too terribly ill, but last night after I had put her to bed...that blasted gland gave her another high dose of calcium and she fell back into a muttering, out-of-touch, poor lady! We're hoping for the best--that this removal of said gland will restore her to a much better state of living!

Someone said to me just the other day, that we love new babies! We can't wait to hold them, coo over them, etc., etc. But, our old people--we find it very unnerving and difficult to deal with them. They need just as much holding and cooing, etc. How true that is! I've watched as Travis or his brother hug their mom...she just melts up next to them. When I walk her--I hold one hand and put an arm around her back. She leans into me. As I feed her, I stroke her hand and she sighs with pleasure--even as she's trying desperately to swallow her soup or juice. We, as humans, need touch, don't we?

Such little things we take for granted. A nice hot shower, clean clothes, brushed teeth! I watch her as we perform all these little things and she glows afterwards. She doesn't necessarily remember any of it, but you can see the cares of life wash away--just like the water running down the drain!

She said to me yesterday, "It's the little things that matter! You can sit on a mountaintop, but you can't sit on a pin!" Isn't that great?

So--let me mention a few little things! I finished painting our office! Yahoo! I had the idea of where I wanted the computer--but Travis suggested a different location--in front of the window and it's wonderful! (It was much easier since all the wiring was on that side of the room, too!) We were able to acquire 2 new sofa sleepers over Labor Day weekend and have the office and basement set up--ready for company!

I'm still working on getting a few more things put away in the office...but it's pretty much organized. Just have to hang a few pictures and I'm finished!

Travis and I have started back once again on watching our food intake and I'm really trying to exercise. This time, I write it on the calendar in the bathroom that is hung over the scales! Ha! It really does help! (And when I mow the yard, I count that as my exercise, too!) It's a big yard and I'm pooped when I finish! That should count for something!

As I close--I want to express my gratefulness to God! I couldn't possibly live this life without Him. He opens my eyes to the little things and reminds me how important they really are! Without Him, I would be constantly trying to sit on the pins and not climb the mountains!

Goodbye Lament

It's 5:45 am and I'm very sad! My daughter, Jessica, along with her two little boys have driven away with Travis to catch a plane in St. Louis as they are on their return trip to Dubai. All the "children noise" is gone and the house will be hauntingly quiet again. Don't get me wrong...I like quiet, but the thought of being so far apart makes my heart ache!

The coffee is brewing, so I'll fill my favorite cup, curl up on the couch for a few precious moments with God and pour out my sadness to Him. Life will pick up again, I'll be busy with all kinds of activities, but for this one tiny blog I'll fling out a lament for my daughter's leaving!

O Jessica...que Dios te bendiga y te amo mi hijita tan, tan preciosa!

The Little Woman

I'm reading the book, "The Little Woman" by Gladys Alyward, to my mother-in-law! What an amazing story of endurance and fortitude, not to mention a tremendous love for God! A must-read! Hollywood bought the rights to her story years ago and produced the movie, "The Inn of the Sixth Happiness" starring Ingrid Bergman. I've watched it over and over again!

Of course, being Hollywood, they had to throw in a love story that never existed and weren't really able to portray the tremendous suffering and danger that Gladys lived through. Interestingly enough, my son-in-law's grandmother, Dora Chamberlin, actually had the opportunity to meet Gladys in England, years ago. Dora gave me a little packet of newspaper articles and an actual bookmark from China that Gladys had given to her. It's very precious to me!

Gladys was an uneducated woman...a parlor maid, who felt a call of God on her life to go to China. And she was amazingly used by the Lord to accomplish things that we can only imagine! It gives me hope for my own life! There is such tremendous hope in God! Not just a religious belief, but I have experienced His personal touch over and over and over again!

And to close...I have to let you know that I'm typing on my very own brand new computer here at home! Hey...if you want to hear more about Gladys and don't have time to read and find the book, I'll be glad to post some of her stories! :-)

Mundane Days

Much to do about nothing! That's my blog for today! Lots of little things--nothing terribly significant, but I read somewhere that the mundane should be much preferred to some huge catastrophe! Nothing wrong with having days of sameness, so to speak!

We have thoroughly enjoyed having Jessica, Corban, and Joshua home from Dubai for this past month! Corban turned 9 at the end of July and is getting so tall! He's entered that age of wanting to know exactly what it was that you just said. Not content to be put off with some trite little, "We'll talk about that later." And Joshua? Oh my gosh! The terrible twos are a reality! What a busy, inquisitive little boy! One of his favorite pasttimes is trotting over to the corner cupboard, opening it up and pulling out my jars of nuts. I give him one or two, then he takes it back and gets the next one out!

Jessica's husband, Gary, was able to come for about a week and that was wonderful! He's such a blessing as a son-in-law...and so easy to have around! I can see where his sons get their inquisitive minds! He just loves searching things out and getting a good deal is a real joy to him! Ha!

Our son, Crispin, flew up from Orlando for the weekend--to see his sister and I can't begin to tell you how nice it is to have my kids home. Our home used to be such a beehive of activity, but is now very quiet. I enjoy quiet too, don't get me wrong, but I love to sit back and watch the interaction of brothers and sisters!

Jessica, Sara, Erich, and I had a garage sale last weekend and made about $350. Doesn't sound like much, but I got rid of tons of things that have been piling up in my basement. Some of the oddest things were the first to go, too! You never know what will be appealing to different people. I think I was most pleased to see so many of my books go!

I love to read and have hauled tons of books (literally) to South America and back. But, over the past few years, I feel like my obsession with having books everywhere has come to an end. I realized that I'm quite happy with or without shelves and shelves of books that I will never read again! I never thought that I would come to this--but it's really quite liberating! Don't worry! I still have lots that I wasn't ready to part with!

This past weekend, I was able to take advantage of the "no sales tax" and purchased a new computer and 3-in-one printer for our home office. Our old computer still ran (sort of) but I would turn it on--go put in a load of wash, do some dishes, come back--type in a passcode, go off to do some more chores, and so forth! I'm not kidding! Talk about slower than molasses in January! It's all set up and ready to go. After the kids all leave, I'm going to paint the office and get some shelving put up to hold all of my letter-writing paraphenalia, etc. I'm really excited to have it turn into a real office and not just a catch-all!

Have you ever watched "Clean House" on STYLE? Great program! But, I don't want my home to turn into a place where those folks would come visit! I really don't have the greatest decorating style, but I'm having fun with paint! And, I LOVE color! I think I've mentioned that before.

Some real exciting news! Maria gave birth to a little girl...Madison Marie Widelko and Joah's fiancee gave birth to Ethan Cruz St. John just a few days later. So, our family stretches from newborns to 91+ years old. And we are excited with the new and blessed with caring for the old!

Well, I think I've caught you up on everything that's going on. Oh yes, my mother-in-law! Evelyn really is fading before our eyes. She takes a tremendous amount of care, but sleeps most of the time. She perks up after having a bath--tells me over and over that she loves being clean and loves the smell of soap and water! I've had some consistent breaks--usually in the afternoons when she has her extended nap. A lady comes over and is just there in case something comes up--so I come to the airport to help with mowing or run errands, etc. I still try to read to her every day and she loves listening to music on a walkman that Erich gave her!

Much to do about nothing! I love the mundane--how about you?

There You Are!

I read back through a couple of my postings and I have to chuckle! Such inspirational thoughts--I know that they were inspired by Someone outside of myself. And how do I know that? Because, I'm in the grubby business of life right now. There may be wonderful colors in my life that only God can see...I sure can't.

But, this really isn't about me, is it? We have a new family member living permanently with us. Well, as permanent as life is here and now. Changes are constantly popping out around the next corner. My mother-in-law, Evelyn, has come to be cared for by Travis and myself. Her daughter watched over her for 5 years and is completely burned out, so we stepped up to take a turn.

What a ride we're on! You never know from day to day what's going to be on the agenda! All I can say is that whoever invented "Depends"--Diapers for Adults, needs a big hug! Mind you, accidents happen--but not on purpose, so that makes it easier to deal with!

The other morning, I popped into the "tulip room" to say good morning. Evelyn has named it that as I have a bright yellow comforter with tulips on her bed. She stared up at me and said, "Who are you?" I answered, "I'm Lucy." She said, "No you're not, Lucy has longer hair." I chuckled, "Oh, I have my hair pulled up with a barrette." I let it down and she got the biggest smile on her face. "Oh, there you are!!!" (Do you remember that scene in the movie, "Hook", where the little lost boy is pushing Peter's face around and then exclaims, "Oh, there you are, Peter!")

Did you know that little kids get very upset when adults in their worlds, change their hair style or color? So, quite often, we are talking to a little girl living in an adult body! At other times, Evelyn pops back into the picture and we have some very adult conversations!

I keep thinking of a quote that I heard from Rick Warren (Purpose-Driven Life). God has called us to SERVICE--not SERVE US! That's been a huge help in adjusting my schedule, my time, my feelings to taking care of an elderly person in the last stages of her life!

Like I said, you never, ever know what's coming next! But, life really is a great adventure! And we have a choice! We can grow with each circumstance or we can hunker down in self-pity, anger, having a discontented heart, etc.

I choose ADVENTURE today!

The 9th Life in a Cat's Life

Two days ago, another cat showed up here at the airport. He was gray and white, very skinny, but just as friendly as Hensley, a Russian Gray that showed up several years ago. Hensley has since passed on...so when I saw another kitty with his same long, lean look and constant purr, I was excited!

He was very hungry--all I had on hand was a stale hotdog bun, but that seemed to fill his belly, at least until I could get some regular cat food. I bought a small bag of food, but he seemed to have trouble chewing it.

Rusty, our dog, was his usual gracious self--when it comes to cats, but did emit a few low growls when the cat came close to his bowl! :-)

I made an appointment with the vet, took him in yesterday afternoon, but received the sad news that he was dying of Feline Leukemia. In fact, his scruffy, unwashed appearance, constant lying down (even with the on-going purr) and tenderness in his mouth was indicative of a fatal disease. There was really no choice to be made...he needed to be put down.

So, I paid the bill and left him in the sympathetic arms of the vet. As I drove away, I was thinking about God's creatures. The Lord must have sent him to us at just a time in his life when his suffering needed to be alleviated. We could have ignored him--shued him away, but I think that we need to have God's heart towards animals. The Lord has put His creation into human hands to care for--not to abuse, nor to exploit, or torment!

Now...with that said, it's time to go mow!

Surrender

My friend, Mindi, inspired me to sit down and write again. I will not bore any of you with my excuses. I'll just write!

I just read something interesting. And I quote, "God expects us to surrender to Him. When we look at everything God has made, we might see what could help us to understand. The sun, the stars, the flowers, the trees--they are all in His power."

Let me pause here. I started thinking about the things in nature. They really don't have ANY choice about anything, do they? Trees are made to drop their seeds. Seedlings grow wherever they fall--good or bad soil, doesn't matter. Birds migrate, make nests, raise their young, migrate, die...all because that's what they're programmed to do. Flowers bloom wherever they are planted. Hurricanes, tornadoes, storms, drought...comes and goes, but nature doesn't have a choice as to what it's subjected to. And surprisingly enough...it lives on--just as it is programmed to do!

We, as humans, are the only creatures with CHOICE! We can do, or say, or be, or....anything we choose to do or say or be....We can choose to get up in the morning if we want, we can choose to drink or eat too much, we can choose to love or to hate, to hold a grudge or forgive, to open ourselves up to God or shove Him away. We can choose to surrender our lives to His Power or not!

I have been thoroughly enjoying a little flower garden that I've planted (with lots of help) along the front of the our house. Every morning, I walk out beside it to see what new thing might be poking it's head up out of the ground. When the irises were blooming, I was thrilled! I couldn't get enough with staring down inside the flowers to enjoy all the varying colors represented in one bloom.

And...I'm much, much more motivated to keep it weeded now. I won't begin to tell you what a mess it was last year...no flowers, a few bushes and hundreds of weeds! If my flower garden is going to look beautiful, it's my responsibility to maintain the upkeep of it. Doesn't God do that with us? He's asked us to surrender to His Will...to bloom where we are planted...to respond to His Care! Won't He care for us more than I would for a few irises and hostas?

I think that I often live as if I don't believe that's true! I get frustrated, angry, grumpy, lazy...and bury myself in pursuits that are meaningless! I forget that the Lord is leaning over me...gazing into my life and experiencing great pleasure at colors that I don't realize I have! As I come out of myself--quit focusing on silly, negative thoughts and turn my face to the Son...Surrender to Him becomes more and more of a great adventure!

And that's what we all want...purpose and adventure in our short time here on earth. We have no idea what awaits us on the other side of death! We get glimpses of heaven as we read about it in the Bible, but who wants to live a purposeless and mindless life here and now?

I think I'll be a Daylily today! (those are the next flowers in my garden to bloom!) I wonder what color or colors will pop out as I quit thinking about myself and start thinking about those around me, but most of all about the One who is the great love of my life!

Farm Fresh Veggies

Good morning! Have you ever heard of giving a farmer a lump sum of money before the growing season starts and then having a box of fresh veggies and fruits delivered once a week to a designated spot to be picked up by you?

Well, we're trying a new thing this spring! Since I have no time to put in an actual vegetable garden (I can barely stay on top of mowing the yard and weeding ONE flower bed), we're buying "boxes" from Sellmeyer's Farm here in Fulton, MO. I picked up our first box last night!

A big bunch of radishes, a lovely bunch of green onions, a bag of lettuce, chives, oregano, cilantro, 1/2 doz brown eggs, and a small loaf of applesauce bread. Since the growing season is just beginning, the box was a bit sparse--but it will be filling up more and more!

So, I made a lovely salad with sauted shrimp sprinkled on top for supper last night! And was it ever delicious!

Top 4

I've been waiting for a day such as this to sit down and write to all of you! Travis is flying his mother and Adela back to Minnesota and it's very quiet here today at the airport. Maybe I'll get this written without too many interruptions!

For the past month, my dear mother-in-law has been staying with us--as you know. There have been days when I felt stretched past my endurance, but other days have been wonderful!! I don't know what I would have done without our dear friend, Adela, being here! She carried the bulk of care during the days when I had to come to the airport and what a blessing she was! It really is important for more than one person to be caring for an elderly parent. Kind of like raising kids...you need a mom and a dad, as well as extended family and friends for support! My heart really goes out to single parents!

So, what have I learned from this experience of caring for a person of advanced age?
1. It's important to get some exercise! Adela would walk on the trail near our house as often as possible. I prefer a "Leslie Sansone" DVD for a walking workout! But, either way...exercise is a complete stress reliever!
2. A sense of humor is an absolute MUST! I don't think that I've laughed and giggled so much in ages! And getting up in the middle of the night--several times? Yep, a sense of humor!
3. A strong sense of urgency! Things need to be done NOW! Not just physical things...like walking someone into the bathroom--but addressing issues! Sometimes, hurtful things are said on both sides and it's important to take care of those things! More often than not, things from the past are rehearsed over and over again. When that happens, I've learned to stop the conversation and verbally explore the reasons behind it. Amazing results!
4. A constant connection to God! He is the source of love and understanding! He has turned irritating circumstances around time and again--filling me with peace and mercy!

I'm sure there's a great many other things that I could think of, but those are the top 4! By the way, getting old is not all it's cracked up to be! But, in God's wisdom, He allows all of us to grow through difficult circumstances!

I went home for lunch and walked into an empty house! Was it quiet? Yes, but pretty doggone lonely. No little old lady sitting in her chair to greet me and say, "Good morning!", when it was clearly the middle of the day! Sigh...

Ups and Downs

Good afternoon! Time to update you a bit!

First things first! Crispin is home from Iraq, safe and sound! He spent a week with us and just left this past Monday to drive back down to Orlando where he lives! We had lots of time to process through many of his experiences in a war zone. All I can say is that GOD was there! HE covered Crispin before and behind!

So, that's an "Up!"

We're taking care of my mother-in-law for awhile, as my sister-in-law needed a break! Evelyn is now 91 years old and we've seen a sharp decline since last year. She remembers less and less--even confuses stories from long ago--mixing in details from other people, etc. But, we've had some good conversations tucked in here and there! She is most alert in the morning at breakfast, but also in the evening about 6 pm. So, we have to take advantage of those moments by reading stories to her out of a marvelous book about animals. We read the Bible in the morning and sing hymns to start her day. Sometimes she's there and other times, she's not! Just the way it is! Not easy! Can't change a thing! Just love on her!

That's kind of a "down!" Not being able to change some things!

Now, for a very funny thing! A few days ago, she was in a huge pout all day! Nothing was right! Everything was wrong! Wrong food, grump, grump, grump! I have to help her to the bathroom, as she has little use of her eyes! So, we shuffled into the bathroom and I got her in position by the toilet. She can manage the rest of the way. As I headed out the door, I said (as always), "Now Evelyn, you take care of business and I'll be back in to check on you." She said, "Why do I have to do everything? I even have to pull down my own pants!!!"

Man oh man! That hit my funny bone. I still am chuckling to thing about how overworked she is! Even has to pull down her own pants! :-)

Another "up!"

She asked me, "Why am I still here? Why doesn't God take me home?" And I realized that she's in my life right at this time to help me grow in areas that I wouldn't otherwise! I'm being stretched to love when it might not be that easy to do, nor even remembered! I'm being asked to get up in the middle of the night for a bathroom run and be pleasant even when I just want to pull the covers over my eyes and ignore those calls for help coming through the baby monitor. God is asking me to rethink my meals that I prepare. I can't always make what suits my fancy. I have to think about another person that has very different tastes than Travis and I do!

So, that feels like a "down", but it's really an "up!" In the long run, I'll be a better person for having gone through this.

Our Bolivian friend, Adela, is here with us, as well! And she's a God-Send! She's visiting during the same time as Evelyn is with us and has been nothing but a huge HELP! She's very loving and kind to my mother-in-law and she's being stretched by having to practice English as well as step in for hours at a time when I come out to work at the airport, while Travis is giving lessons and flying!

So....that's life right now! Ups and downs! Maybe it's always like that for all of us! Some bad mixed in with the good...stretching and growing us, if we'll allow it!

The Cow Prayer!

On to the topic of the day! Down the street from the airport is a lovely old house that sits on 10 acres. It has historic value, has been completely remodeled and was recently (last summer) purchased by a family from ????

I met the wife who came through looking for one of her cats--and she told me that they love horses. Indeed they do! They fenced off a corral, promptly brought in 2 horses and a pony! It appeared an idyllic setting. Then, they brought in a dairy cow...then, winter set in.

Now, the whole area is one churning sea of mud. The grass is gone (eaten or trampled), the little shed that was built for perhaps two animals has to house four, and for most of the winter--cow was locked into this tiny cubicle--never let out into the main corral for exercise.

Well, I decided that God loved the animals way more than I did. I'm not a farmer, so know little about taking care of large farm animals, but seeing cow locked away like that just didn't set well with me.

My mom came to visit and since she was raised on a dairy farm, she threw a fit! (I guess I was right...cow did need to be let out.) So, guess what? I started praying! Every morning and evening as I drove by, I asked the Lord to help the new owners to receive some kind of instruction about letting cow "out of prison". And yep! You guessed it! Cow has been released!

The horses and cow go in and out of the little shed at leisure! Cow wanders over to the fence and stares longingly into the huge field where lots of beef cattle are grazing. Once in awhile, a few of them amble over to say "hello", but at least she's out and moving again!

And, I realized that instead of just driving by and griping about the treatment I felt was unjust, I needed to "get off my high horse" and start praying about it. I didn't have a clue as to why that was happening...probably lack of knowledge...so what good was I doing by criticizing? The Lord loves His Creation and has put us here to be good stewards!

I call my mom once in awhile and say, "Guess what?! Cow is OUT!"

God's Treasures & My Bathroom

Good morning! I must carry on this theme of "treasures" while it's still fresh on my mind! Maybe if I write about it...it will stick in my mind and heart!

We are ALL God's treasures! Does that mean that He loves what we do, what we think about, how we act--all of the time? I don't think so! Jesus would have not needed to come to earth if that were true! But, God really does look at each human being (no matter how broken, wicked, dirty, ugly, etc.) as His own personal jewel! How can He do that? Because His love knows no bounds!

The other night, we were watching Fox News and a little news flash popped up showing the most messed-up looking guy--the worst serial rapist (of children) that had ever been captured...yes, captured in Las Vegas. The first thing that popped into my mind was, "Look at him! He's My TREASURE!" And, I said (inside my head), "Yes, Lord, he is!" Period! Not...but look what he's done, look at the lives he's ruined, what about the children, what about their parents, what about, what about....Those "what about" questions came later in the evening as I mulled over what he represented and his horrible actions against humanity. And I'm convinced that he will go to prison and have to pay for his crimes in one way or another.

Last night, I met with a group of friends in Columbia at a Sushi restaurant to catch up with each other. One of them brought up the fact that her adopted daughter's real dad was named Billy ----. Coincidentally, 2 of my other friends had had direct dealings with this guy and he's not a blessing! In fact, he's a scum bag! Dirty (literally), mean, cruel, abusive, horrible to be around, etc., etc...and then? We started talking about God's treasures! And guess what? We came to the conclusion that he was one of those precious jewels in God's treasure house. But, did we automatically feel anything but repulsion? Nope, that was something that only God could do in our hearts! Any thoughts? I'll leave this theme for the moment--

My bathroom! Yahoo! I finally painted it! (I love color, in case I've never mentioned that). Our whole house was painted stark white when we moved in. I know, I know...all those pale colors are all the rage, but they don't speak to me! Color speaks to me!

I wanted a "camel" color for the bathroom, but this time I blew it! The color was way, way too pale for me! I painted on--because that's what I had to work with. At the end, I felt intense disappointment!

A brilliant thought popped into my brain...buy a new shower curtain, bathrug, and a few "sea worthy" decorations that had color in them. I have a lot of shells and things from the sea on display in that little room.

So, I made a run to Hobby Lobby and Walmart (my budget couldn't afford more) and Wa-La! A small photos of lighthouses resides above the mirrow now, along with a string of wooden fish. A shower curtain that takes you on a walk down the beach fills the room and perwinkle blue rugs draw your eyes to COLOR!

Have a glorious day! Look for those bright, sparkling jewels around you and enjoy some "color", as you gaze upon God's Treasures! And, if you're struggling with a bout of spring fever--paint a bathroom!

Mother Teresa

I have such good intentions...really I do! I intend to write something interesting and then I get busy and one day runs into another and pretty soon, it's been two or three weeks since I sat down to put my thoughts on this blog!

So, to begin...my mom, Travis and I have been on quite a journey lately. After the pastor of our church gave a talk on modern-day heroes, one of which was Mother Teresa, I bought a biography off of Amazon.com and we started reading it out-loud in the evenings. What an amazing story! She was quite a lady! I think what I've been most impressed with was her continual turning to God! She was not perfect--human just like the rest of us, but she remained true to her calling up until she passed away.

The other amazing thing was her real love for people. And, throughout the book, it was recorded again and again, that she had to talk to the Lord constantly to have HIS love in her heart. It was impossible for a human to carry their own love for people. We just don't have the capacity to do that! Even for those who are close to us...we get our feelings hurt, we judge others with a critical spirit, etc.

So, what does all of this mean? Hmmm...not sure! But, I've become more and more aware of how much I want to be in-tune with the One who has that love! And, as I run head on into all kinds of different people, I've been more aware of my inner motives. Sometimes, I don't feel one ounce of love--other times, I feel overwhelmed with love. But, God is ALWAYS full of love for everyone!

In the most recent "Discipleship Journal" magazine that I receive...there's a whole section about ministering to the poor and vulnerable. My mom and I have also been watching the made-for-TV series about "Christy"...the young girl who traveled up into the Appalachian Mountains right after the turn of the century to teach school in Cutter Gap--a place of great darkness.

And...another really cool thing happened to me in church the other evening. (We go on Saturday nights, as Travis has to open the airport on Sundays). There was a handicapped person sitting in front me (I won't tell you what...it might make you feel uncomfortable) and for the very first time, I was able to see her weakness--but then look right past it to see HER! And to remember--she is God's Treasure! God loves HER! It doesn't matter about her looks, etc. It doesn't matter about her past or what's going on in her heart in the present, etc., etc. That's what God's love is all about!